Alvan's digital garden

Do We Know, What It Is To Be Young?

Hi, dear reader!

This time I got a kind of weird (one might call cringe) writing for you.

So, today morning, as always, I turned my computer on and spotify got opened on startup. I like it to start on startup, because it takes literally one click to start new playlist for the morning. Something like “Discover weekly”, “Morning jazz”, and etc. Anyways, I put the music on and the very first song got my attention!

Don’t worry, I will share the link to the song, but at first, I want to explain why it got my attention, so you can listen carefully too!

It starts with an amazing acoustic guitar backed by violins. The very first note is actually the (most probably) same as my other favourite song, so it had to be good! After couple of seconds, vocal comes in and the voice of the vocalist had that retro feeling to it. First sentence goes as:

When we are yound, age has no meaning

It had started very nicely, but that “has no” part was not able to fit into the melody quite nicely, and vocalist had to rush that words. Therefore, my brain immediately got teased and I gathered all my attention to the song. Don’t get me wrong, that part was not pleasent to me at all, because our brains release dopamine when we could predict the melody, words etc. Whatever, the song continued..

I never gave it a second thought..

Ah, this line fixed it all, and I sat down to listen carefully. Of course, a bit volume boost had to be done!

Until one day along came this old man
And this is what he said to me..

Okay, okay. I won’t write whole lyrcs here, but you got the point. It is an amazing song about an elderly man talking about age and all.

And finally, here is the song: I Know What It Is To Be Young by George Burns & Bobby Vinton Spotify | YouTube

Of course, after listening (together with neighboors) 3-4 times in a row with full volume, it brought tears to my eyes! Not because lyrcs was that much touching, but I usually get to this feeling after liking a song very much! Btw, to love a song, I like to take my time and listen multiple times with full attention, and then decide if I like or love the song :D.

Okay, now on the actual topic: Sudden Thoughts on Youth, Time and It’s Value

Well, nowadays, time flies for me. I’m working fulltime, also have a startup that is in exciting stage, friends, memes, youtube videos - in one word - all these distraction materials. I’m constantly distracted by multiple things and sometimes I don’t wake up for days from this rush!

And suddenly, it is weekend. Oops, it is monday again. Oh don’t worry, almost friday it is. Allright! Comes the thursday, already half way through the week.

Most probably, these words relate to you too. It is because we are tought to rush. If one wants to succeed1 in this world, they have gotta live this fast, cruel life. Grind all of the steps required to get a degree, land a job, get married with kids, then support family, do all the things you are told to. What is next? Live happy retirement. Finally have some rest. Btw, not necessarily old age retirement. You could grind for retirement at 35 too (which is less likely).

But the main question is.. is this happiness? Is it something that we gotta experience after retiring or can it be in day-to-day life?

I know this is very known and talked on topic, but I just wanted to rant about it for my fellow 3 readers

Recently I’ve been talking with my brother, who has just got his first full time job and we all were very happy for him. However, after a few weeks of employement, he had started ranting about 9-5 job life, this fucking rate race and on similar topics. And it was not just any rant, they all were very true statements. Basically, he was telling that being a part of this huge system, in which we need to shove some personal life / entertainment into gaps of work life. Just like how nowadays websites shove content between ads!

This whole concept is ridiculous! Really, is it really okay to work 8 hours a day and live on fridays? Are we just bunch of spoiled youngsters ranting about how lazy we are, or it is the system that got fucked up? Ah, don’t tell me I still got 8 hours for personal life (after sleep). We sometimes overwork, do some side projects, transportation takes a chunk, and this list goes on!

Anyways, back to the topic. Does it really worth spending all this time, because we, someday will succeed?

As I said, I’m also a fellow mate in this rush, and therefore, time flies! But sometimes I regain my consciousness. Today, it happened thanks to the music I’ve been writing about…

Old man tells:

I know what it is to be young,
But you, you don’t know what is it to be old.
Someday, you’ll be saying the same thing,
Time takes away, so the story is told..

Man.. It feels weird. The more I grow up, the more I feel the clock ticking.. I won’t be getting back that time wasted on watching Family guy shorts! Oh, btw, it wouldn’t hurt this bad if I had watched the whole episodes like a real man! (sorry for this stereotyping here, it is easier to express the feelings).

So, the clock is ticking, huh. Gotta be fast, rush the things, do more stuff, code, do business, work, get money, save it so you can buy yourself a flat near the city center, or a car.. Idk, all these mandatory posessions! Nope, do not stop you fucking idiot! Clock is ticking, gotta settle all of these down and finally start living the life you’ve been grinding for!

Boy, do I have news for you! Now your back hurts. And it is probably because you are getting old. Nope, all good on back? Then most likely you got couple of relationships lost, because you couldn’t pay enough attention to them. Your friends? They are together, but you were too busy to hang out with them.

I believe that time is only as fast as you. In fact, you are the time. It is only you who experiences it and it is very much tied to your view of life. If you are in a rush to retirement, good news, you will get there fast. But guess what, you lived fast too. You were so fast that no one could catch up with you, or take their time and love you. Or maybe you didn’t have time to stay, relax and appreciate things you are surrounded with!

Ah, here is a video of hummingbird, chilling. I hope you are chilling like him too! Hector the hummingbird takes a chill.

So, yes, nowadays I’m thinking a lot about this. We really need to take a break. Take it slowly and steadily. Not everything needs to be fast. For example, startups. It is good to rush things. But what about life? Feeling of appreciation? Personal relationships? For these, I believe it is good to slow down, think about them, and understand their values, what do they mean to you?

If we manage to do this, then we won’t be wasting our life on some dead-end job that we somehow ended up in. We won’t kick around the bushes, be on topic and honest. You like a girl? Go tell her. Let her know. Oh, you dislike someone and how they interfere with your life? Just get rid of them. Let them now that you don’t want to hang out anymore. Be straightforward. Ah, I don’t mean be rude or creepy. You again, need to take your time and consider your decisions.

I understand, it might be hard to take measures on the work/employement related stuff, but I feel like if we treat current state as a staircase towards better days, we can make things easier for us, keep ourselves motivated and do not lose our soul to corporate bullshit :D

Me personally, last time I had nice chill was 2 years ago at Qabala, a beautiful place in Azerbaijan. We were three friends there and it was one of my most precious moments in life. And I sometimes take my time and appreciate how very nice people I got around me, and this feels hella nice! Also, I’ve told this to them too. By the way, telling this - letting them know felt good separately in itself too! This is how love and good mood spread as you share it. So, next time you get a change, buy a flower for someone you love.

Okay, back to the topic. If you’ve been thinking on this matter, you probably came to conclusion of “man, shut your ass mouth. How will we pay the bills? Who gonna pay for that rent, or the drinks?”.

Luckily, there is a way! Sell only fans. Yep, just fans of all kinds, they can have nice margins in their retail prices.

Anyways, sorry for that 🤭. You actually got a solid point. I admit that living life to the fullest, is probably a dream: a boring one (or we are just told so, lol). I believe this is the case, because a life without any challenges, sad moments, losses would be just like playing Minecraft on the peaceful mode. No mobs, no threats - no challenges.

So, that is why, accepting the fact that we need to work and grind a bit to increase the life quality helps me, personally a lot! It justifies all of my time wasted on helping a corporation do more business and getting the sweet money. Afterall, this is how the economy works: helping a musican to increase their life quality is possible by paying for tickets to their concert. And in return, you get nice music - interests got balanced.

Mmhm. All I am saying is, your time is very expensive, specially in youth! It is a finite source, and in the grand scale, you are very much short on stock. Therefore, pay attention to with whom and what you do spend it!

Ah, I see (icy), this one is going to be a long one :D

Now you can tell, hey, Alvan, it is good and all, but how do you know? Yep, exactly! How do I know. To be honest, I don’t really know. By the way, neither do you. No-one knows yet. It is all based on my experiences and by no means are answers to questions. On the other hand, do we really need to find answers? What if we do find them. What else comes after that? That is why, I think of this like a game with a lot of endings. Life is not about finding the optimal path to the end. Instead, it is about discovering possibilities, wondering around, evaluating things, and in the meantime, bonding with people, investing on relationships while, of course, not forgetting ourselves! Just like the song goes:

I’ve asked so many questions,
To the wise men I’ve met.
Couln’t find all the answers,
No one has as yet.

There’ll be days to remember
Ful of laughter and tears.
After summer, comes winter and so go the years

So my friend.
Let’s make music together!
I’ll play the old while you sing me the new
In time when your young days are over,
There’ll be some one sharing their time with you..

Afterall, I guess, it is all about being that some one who is worth sharing time with.

Thank you for sharing your time with me. It is much appreciated <3

  1. What really is success? A lot of money? Impact on world? Good memories? I’m confused.. ↩︎